“Single”ly Serving the Lord

By Mark McCrary

Introduction

1. There is a great emphasis on marriage in the church today—as well there should be.
   
   
2. But, those who are not married, the often left out and unspoken of singles, probably feel very uncomfortable with this constant emphasis
1. Without meaning, they can come to think of themselves as failures somehow, that they messed up; second-class citizens.
2. Churches inadvertently endorse such thinking when they look for a new preacher and one of the unwritten requirements is for him to be married. 
   1. Where, oh where, would Paul have preached?
3. Those of us who are married don’t help with statements like, “Oh, I wish they could find someone special;” “When are you going to get married;” “If you’d only get out more…; ““He would make some little lady a wonderful husband; “He/she has so much to offer some one.”

3. Suspect the apostle Paul would have been outraged by our attitude toward the single.
1. A biblical perspective can be found in 1 Cor. 7.
   
   
4. Must admit to a certain degree of hesitation to preach on this subject.
1. Credibility issue.
2. But, Paul spoke on marriage.
3. In the end, the power of the message does not come from the speakers’ ability to relate his experiences, but in the relating of the word of God.
   
5. Want to focus on several things in the text:
1. Facts about the Single Life
2. Advantages of the Single Life
3. Pressures of the Single Life
4. Paul’s advice to Singles

Facts about the Single Life

1. There’s nothing wrong with being unmarried, v. 1, 8, 25-26
1. In fact, Paul speaks very highly of this state 
   1. His highest compliment came in that this was the state he chose to live his life
   2. It is not a disease that needs to be cured
      1. Paul calls it a gift, v. 7-8
2. We married wrongly think this way, however.
   1. Our children are conditioned to think it is a forgone conclusion they will one day marry
      1. If they don’t, we have fostered the condition for them to think something is wrong with them.
      2. Even children’s stories plant this idea—“…they lived happily ever after.”
3. Sometimes we think that marriage is the divinely ordained way to live.  Although it is a divinely ordained institution, it is not the only divinely ordained way to live.
   1. Christ.
4. No, Paul makes it clear in 1 Cor. 7 that there are a lot of right things being unmarried.
   
   
2. There is a needed place for singles within the body of Christ
1. Paul will soon go into all the wonderful and unique services they can give that the married cannot give
   
   
3. Married is no better or worse than single life, v. 27
1. If you can life the single life, do it
2. If you can’t, marry
   
   
4. While I am happy to be married, there are difficulties in married life as well.
1. The grass is always greener syndrome
   1. “Married life would be so much easier than single life.  I would have help with the chores around the house.  Wouldn’t have to carry all the burdens alone.  I would fit in easier, since the world is mainly made up of married folks.  I’d have more money and someone to talk to.  I wouldn’t have to go to the movies alone.”
   2.  “Boy, I sometimes wish I were single again.  There’s a lot more freedom.  You control every aspect of your life—even the temperature in you home.  Everything at the house is a lot more peaceful.”
   3. The single that jumped at the first opportunity to get married learns that there are more chores to be done; that whoever said two can live cheaper than one was crazy, and that just because you have someone to talk to doesn’t mean they are listening.
2. Marriage is not the magic elixir of life.

 The Advantages of the Single Life

1. They can roll with the punches better than the married, v. 26- 28
1. The present distress
   1. Several ideas have been presented
      1. Some suggest Paul is anticipating the Second Coming
      2. But, for the Christian, such a time would not be considered a “distress.”
      3. Some suggest it was due to the fall of Jerusalem
      4. But, considering the distance between Jerusalem and Corinth that seems unlikely.
      5. One writer said solid evidence has been found suggesting economic hard times hit the area when Paul wrote.
      6. Others have suggested Paul was anticipating the coming persecutions.
   2. But, the reality is there are a lot of distresses we go through today and sometimes being married complicates matters.
   3. In times of distress, single life has its advantages.  Economic hardships.  You can be more flexible, adapt more quickly to sudden unexpected events.  You can pick up and move if necessary.  Don’t have to worry about where the kids are in school, your wife’s job if she has one.
2. The single are freer from the pressures of the world than the married, v. 29-35
   1. The married are more tempted to “settle” into the false routine of the world.  Times I must focus on the world not just for my sake but for the sake of family. 
   2. It is easy for us to lose focus along the way of life, married or single.
      1. As a married person, you don’t eat when you want to eat; you eat when supper is ready.
      2. You must think about not only your healthcare, but also the healthcare of those counting on you.
      3. You must think about not only your retirement, but also how you will take care of your spouse one day.
      4. When your car or truck is on its last leg, while you may thoughtlessly take off in it, you’ve got to think about the safety of others

2. But, the greatest advantage of singles is they have a greater quantity of time to give quality time to the Lord, v. 33-34
1. Understand this:  there are things single Christians can do that married Christians cannot.  You’ve got more possibilities in Christian service than I do.
2. Married are limited by family.
   1. I remind you that it was the unmarried apostle Paul that made the great missionary journeys, traveling across the Roman Empire, not the married apostle Peter.
      1. I have made two trips to the somewhat hostile nation of Vietnam—I could not see moving my family there.  What would I do if Teresa arrested or killed? Children.
      2. Much of the time I was over there was spent thinking of Teresa and kids.
      3. That’s just a fact of my married life—Paul says that is understandable and acceptable before the Lord.
   2. Darrell Smelser in Starkville—can have the college students over till all hours of the night—I’ve got kids that need to sleep.
   3. Much to Ray Bohannon’s dismay, I try to be home at nights around 9 p.m. to read to Ciara. 
   4. There are limitations.  I don’t regret any of them, but they are there.
3. Singles, please realize that this freedom you have is to your advantage.
   1. Use this period of your life when you are not bound to anyone else to give yourself wholly to the Lord in every activity in life
   2. Give yourself for hours in peacefully silent prayer.  Visit the sick whenever you can and want to.  Help those in need without restriction.
   3. You have a remarkable opportunity.   
   4. You must remind yourself of this lesson:  Marriage is not the ultimate goal of life—Serving the Lord is.  Believe this is the message of 29-31.
      1. A lesson many of us married would do well to remember.
      2. Whether we are married, we weep, we rejoice, we buy on this earth will mean nothing in 1000 years.
      3. What is important is if we serve the Lord
   5. If you get married to please yourself, you are making a grave mistake.
      1. Have known Christian so obsessed with marriage and desperate to get married they lived with a life-long mistake.
   6. If you are not using this single time for the Lord, there is no greater value for you in singleness.

 The Pressures of being Single

1. Sexual Pressures, v. 1& 9
1. They exist and they are a part of us.
2. Marriage is the outlet for the sexual expression of man
3. But, if you struggle with sexual pressures as a single person, you will likely struggle with them in marriage as well.
4. In other words, don’t get married just because of this pressure—you have not defeated the weakness, and it may appear again
5. Be prepared to live up to the full commitment that comes with sexual release.
   1. Love; companionship; fidelity; understanding

2. Loneliness
1. While possible, it doesn’t have to be this way.  Loneliness is a choice.
2. Jesus wasn’t lonely
   1. Consider Matt. 12:48-50
3. Paul certainly wasn’t—Rom. 16 gives over 30 different friends who meant a lot to him.
4. Remind you that there are a lot of lonely married people as well
3. While the pressures exist, Paul taught and believed they could be managed

Advice to Singles

1. Don’t obsess over marriage, v. 26- 27
1. It is wonderful, but you have greater opportunities to serve if you can remain single.
   
   
2. Use your singleness to greater service to the Lord, v. 32 &34
1. Study, pray, grow, serve God and fellow man.
   
   
3. If you want to get married, you may, v. 9, 28
1. While you can give yourself in greater service now, if you find a good man or woman, godly—God won’t reject you because you devote yourself to another individual.
   
4. But, if you don’t have to, don’t, v. 8, 26
1. Devote yourself more fully to the Lord and his church.
   
   
5. Be content.
1. The overriding principle, v. 17, 20, 24
   1. Be content where you are at and serve the Lord there as best you can, whether married or unmarried.
2. This is the challenge for both single and married Christians—to rejoice where you are at and use yourself to serve the Lord
3. Contentment is an internal quality.
   1. If unhappy while single, likely unhappy while married, too.
   2. Contentment comes first and foremost from having an ongoing relationship with the Lord, Phil. 4:11-13

1. To our singles, Paul makes it very clear: There is a place for you.  You are walking a noble choice while you walk this path. Use it.
   
   
2. If you are single and sometimes feel rejected and burdened, lighten up, lift your head and say, “I’m living a gift at this time others don’t have.  I have the opportunity to do things others can’t do.”

Back